Don't Get Near. You Will Catch The Lesbian.

So a few days ago this girl I know, who I will just nickname "Da", got a boyfriend to (everyone's surprise), and she is always talking about how they are so adorable together, and they are perfect for each other. So she is convinced that I want a boyfriend too. Da told me,
"It will be kind of hard to find someone who will match your personality." Basically saying, "You are so weird that no one will love you but I will try to force someone with you so you are happy with me for once."
I keep having to tell her that I don't want her as match maker.

She was pissing me off so bad that I just kinda yelled something out. I knew that she would stop talking for at least a minute so I could regain some sanity back, but I didn't think she would take it so seriously.

So I said:

 

 

Da got this look on her face of 'I'm nervous, because Emily is now dangerous. She can infect me. What if she falls in love with me. Ew. I have a boyfriend. What if I won't love him anymore?!'

 

So she tells me, "Just don't fall for me, because I wouldn't be able to be friends with you, because if you fall in love with me I could NOT love you back, because that is weird."

 

Ok. First of all. I am NOT a lesbian. I have nothing wrong with people being gay or lesbian or however you choose to like people. Gay people are some of the most awesome people I know. Second, Da has a completely wrong interpretation of how you "become gay or lesbian". You don't just "become" one of the two or both (again completely up to you). You are born with that decision, or develop it over time. Da thinks that if a lesbian, (for example she thinks me), touches you, you instantly fall in love with girls. And a lot of people think that someone who likes the same gender will try to hit on anyone who is their gender. No. Like "straight people", they too have crushes. Like if you are a guy and see another dude checking your face out and start to think, "Ew. He is going to try to hit on me.", that guy might just be thinking that your hair is cool.

 

I got so off topic, but stayed on topic at the same time.

 

So usually when I pass Da in the hall or the "Square" as people call it, she comes over to me and starts giggling and showing me pictures of her boyfriend or whatever. But she would not look at me or talk to me. Usually that is a good thing, but I wanted to know something. Is she afraid of me because she thinks I'm a lesbian? The answer is yes, because I sent her a text asking, "Are you ignoring me because of what I said?" My phone of course tells me when someone has opened a text, and she did, but unlike her usual self, she didn't respond.

 

If she talks to me or is around me, she will catch the Lesbian. Because that is how her mind works.

 

A diagram of Da's brain.

 

 

After telling this story to my friends we decided to go over to Da (she hangs out with her boyfriend and a group of other strange people) and have me touch her arms and try to hold her hands to freak her out. So we did, and I grabbed her hands and tried to hug her, and she started yelling, "Stop! You are in a trance! You are in a trance! Snap out of it!"

 I kept saying, "I know you want to be like me! Come on it isn't that bad! Love me!"

 

PS: You don't become gay from being in a trance.

 

So later on I saw her again and tried to lightly grab her hands again and repeated what I said earlier. She was pushing me off her as if I was trying to seriously injure her. Then she left with one of her friends, and I left to go the same way (not to follow her, but to get to my area where I get picked up from) after I waited for one of my friends. Me and my two friends were talking and walking down the road when some guy on a bike rides past me and yells, "Hey maybe-trans!"

Sorry I can't draw bikes. Sheesh.





 

All three of us were really confused, and I got super pissed off, because he of course meant "trans" as in "transsexual".  Maybe because of my short hair, and not-showing makeup. I have been called a boy before, but not "trans". And why else would someone just decide to yell that to me, unless he had at least some evidence. He was most likely in that group of Da's friends, or Da's boyfriend heard me talking to her, and told his friends, or Da told this guy for no reason and very accurately described me. 

 

So after my two friends left I saw the person Da was with earlier in a small Christian café, but she wasn't there, and I wanted to yell at her for telling people lies about me. So I went in to talk to her friend, so I pulled that door open so fast the bells on the handle almost fell off and the owner of the café looked up at me thinking, "You need Jesus." (I could see it in his eyes.) So I ask Da's friend,

"Where's Da?" And he starts telling me about her leaving and asking for money, and something else, and so I tell him about what just happened, and he starts laughing and I guess I was talking loud, because everyone in there starts giving me this look of, "Go buy a $12 sandwich and read a bible." So I leave and wait outside for my ride. As I was waiting, Da comes walking up to me laughing, and says, "Don't try that again." So I yell at her,

"Did you tell some guy that I was trans or something? That's not cool." And she laughs and walks away  and people walking around outside look at me like I'm insane.

 

The story will continue soon, but that's the most recent thing so far. I will updated probably tomorrow, or Monday.

 

Till then, stay away, or you will get the Lesbian.